What It’s Like to Live With Daily Suicidal Thoughts

This is part of a series of stories to bring awareness to the issue of suicide, in honor of National Suicide Prevention Month. If you or someone you know needs support, contact the 24-hour National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

When Sarah Walsh was about 14, she noticed she was’t able to handle certain pressures her high school peers seemed to be able to handle.

She didn’t have suicidal thoughts, yet. Her early thoughts were along the lines of, “I don’t want to die, but I wish I could stop existing,” she said.

“Over time as that continued without treatment all of those feelings became more intense,” Walsh said.

Walsh, now 26, graduated high school and went on to study and graduate from the University of Missouri’s journalism school. She studied abroad in Belgium and moved to Cincinnati for her first job — all while managing daily thoughts of suicide.

Whether she got into a car crash or burnt a piece of toast, her mind immediately jumped to killing herself, she said.

“Most of the time obviously I manage to shore up my defenses well enough that I’m not going to act on that thought,” Walsh said. “But the thought is always definitely there.”

For the full story: https://www.rewire.org/living/daily-suicidal-thoughts-chronic-suicidality/